Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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