You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
