dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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