Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
