We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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