soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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