i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
