She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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