I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
why do cheetos always look like penises
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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