he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
A bitchslap is in order.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
