I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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