Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
