Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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