did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
two words...techno handjob
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
