let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Success! We fucked roommates!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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