I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize