I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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