the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
