I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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