Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize