Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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