How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
