My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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