i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
