We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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