living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
