So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
