i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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