3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
