don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
