So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
