I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
