I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
