Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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