worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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