Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
