I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
