sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
