I bet he comes in French.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
