i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
