I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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