Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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