if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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