I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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