Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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