I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
When are your genitals available?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
