Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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