Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
