Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
