i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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