You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
