so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
