If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
thus making me awesome and them whores
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
