Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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