I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize