U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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