I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
