I think I am morally bankrupt
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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