then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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