That's intense
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
