i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We have so much sex to catch up on
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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