We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
