she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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