Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
