to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sext me about skeletons
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
