Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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