omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize