I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
