Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
