TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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