my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
