I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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