walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
