before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
