Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
