OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
