i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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