Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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