I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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