So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
