i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
